5 Ways to Deal With the Office Bully

Posted on May 13, 2007
Filed Under Journal, Society |

Before we can deal with the Office Bully, we need to know a little bit about its origin, so here we go…

How many yous are there? I have mentioned before that life is like a dance - it has its own rhythm - well I find life is also like a play; dramatised, often following a script, and each of us play multiple characters. Each different character is called forth depending upon the situation we are in, and depending upon the people we are surrounded by. So side-stepping psychological talk, and getting to the crux of self-reflection; who are these self-generated characters?

Each of these characters seem to be aspected in a different way. Different attributes, different levels of influence over you and so on. Some just have a frittering presence, they arrive and then disappear. Others are far more ominous and come upon you like a possession; one of the most nefarious is undoubtedly the workman (or woman).

This is a character that can be very dominant indeed…it often shoves aside any other character with barely a glance. Indeed the currently active character will retreat without a whimper - and in many cases will not even notice the fact that they have been displaced by the ubiquitous (or so it thinks) work-doer.

These transformations often come as a shock to any other nearby individual. Conversations will very quickly change from happy-go-lucky chat of the day, toward hostile business-like, impersonal passive aggression. No doubt the work-doer was a key inspiration behind the story of Jekyll and Hyde.

The Office Bully

We have all been on the receiving end of these forms of attacks, and quite often they leave you reeling, especially when the attacker transforms back from workman into a more pleasant form - seemingly acting as though nothing is amiss and nothing actually happened.

So how to tackle work-doer? It can be pretty tough especially when dealing with the more persistent type of workman - these are the types that are like a dog with an old bone; they won’t let go, even when you have submitted, apologised, begged for forgiveness and enshrined yourself upon their altar. Well you will be glad to know that there are a few tricks that I have learnt over the years - and I am hear to share some of them with you.

The Work-doer Talisman

The Work-doer is entrenched in a relatively small world-view; they are confined by a self-imposed reality of bureaucracy and corporate politics. This presents a great avenue of escape when being targeted by the Work-doer. Cite excuses of a personal nature - the further removed from anything bureaucratic the better. “You were holed up in the toilet for nearly an hour. Must have been that curry!” The Work-doer is generally unable to respond to comments of such a personal nature, and will instead seethe silently.

Apologise profusely. One of the Work-doers favourite attack vectors is to pick up on your perceived mistakes, no matter how small. Apologising and being somewhat self-depreciative can often work very well; the Work-doer seeks to be held in high-esteem. Apologies stroke their ego, and make them feel all warm and happy. (Hint: You don’t have to mean it!)

Cite incompetence. The Work-doer can do no wrong - thus they find it confounding when you admit to being fallible, foolish or a down-right ass. Claiming incompetence is a great (and often amusing) way to get out of trouble. However be aware that you can’t play this card too often without risking exposure to the bosses.

If you have found a bureaucratic flaw in the Work-doers methodology - then save it as a “Get out of Jail Free” card. It is fascinating to pull the rug from underneath the Work-doer; it is one of the few tricks that will cause the character to flee, leaving a bereft and confused individual behind. (Take a look at their face when this happens; the persons mask falls off and you get to see their true face for a moment).

Fly off the handle. This one is particularly fun; when the Work-doer comes along picking like a mother hen - fly into a rage at them! This should be sudden and unexpected. It doesn’t matter what you rage about; it could be the colour of the office floor-tiles, the weather, in fact the more irrelevant the better as it will give them less opportunity to respond. This tactic should only be used occasionally - but if used correctly you won’t need to use it very often, as generally this will permanently scare the Work-doer away from you. They tend to be passive-aggressive, and so hate direct confrontation. Remember it doesn’t matter if you aren’t angry - make it up. But even better if you really are annoyed about something, you have just found the perfect target to take it all out on.

Well here’s hoping that this helps you guys somewhat. These techniques and a few others have worked wonders for me in the past…so I am only too glad to pass them on.

Of course the Work-doer isn’t merely someone that we have to face in life - it is also a character that resides within us. In a future post I will give some pointers on how to deal with this form of possession and send your own little work-mad-character running for the hills…