A dictionary definition of a habit, naturally isn’t at all difficult to come by:

Habit: an acquired behaviour pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/habit

Of course,  “how to break a habit” can’t be found in a dictionary.

So there we have it a “behaviour pattern”.  Ultimately, almost everything we do is a behaviour pattern isn’t it?  There’s a great speech by Jiddu Krishnamurti, where he speaks of our daily routines; waking-up, showering, cleaning teeth, having breakfast, going to work etc.  He says these things are habit, because we do them robotically without thought.  That’s not something I can argue with, I look at my own life and see the truth in his words.

So is life a habit?  Well I think that all depends on whether or not we go about life ‘consciously’; that is to say, “with lucid awareness of each of our actions and thoughts”.  That sentence brings us closer to a distinction between ‘mind’ and ‘consciousness’.  If we go about life ‘robotically’, then sure – life becomes a habit – the mind takes over and we run on autopilot.  Conversely, if we become conscious of our own actions – then we start ‘watching’ our own mind.  We pay attention to what it is thinking, and the actions it is causing our body to perform.  There’s the key then…right there…

Who is watching the mind?

After all, if we can ‘watch’ our own minds…then it follows that the ‘watcher’ isn’t the mind but something external to it.  Is perhaps the ‘watcher’ somewhere deeper in the realms of our consciousness?  What if we sit and watch the watcher then?  That is – watch ourselves watching our mind.  Think about that one.  Or don’t think.  Perhaps thinking can also be considered a habit; “How long does it take to break a bad habit?”, “How to change bad habits?” – and so on.  These thoughts and questions in themselves eventually become routine thought based habits.

So…how to break a habit?  Well for me, the process always has started with stepping ‘outside the mind’ – into that location where we find our ‘watcher’.  The watcher is indifferent to habit and routine, these things are of no consequence to the watcher as such things are entirely bound within the constructs of the mind.  When we become the watcher – we immediately become ‘aware’ of our thoughts and our actions, and that also means that each ‘habit’ becomes a conscious action because we are watching it and aware of it.  The instant we are aware of something, we gain the option of choice; ‘free will’.  Thus we start to move with more seriousness and awareness into our own consciousness.  This can be done without habit and without routine based behaviour patterns.

This is where so many people make a mistake.  When they attempt to break or change a habit, they do so through an effort of thought; they attempt to think their way out of the habit.  Or alternatively, they re-program their mind with new behaviour patterns.  The latter option is slightly more effective, however this too can be carried out without much awareness.  This is because when we live inside our minds, we are bound within the walls of our mind; tied into its rules, beliefs and behaviour patterns.

Becoming aware of our behaviour patterns doesn’t automatically make them ‘easy’ to change.  However, what does happen, is that we begin to move away from automatic ‘robot-like’ habit based behaviour, and into conscious awareness.  And this can make all the difference in the world.

Add this to the continuing economic woes – which are still getting worse, along with the startings of a food safety crises, then the mix is starting to bubble quite well.  The average Joe-Public would be forgiven for wondering what the hell is going on.  The answer is clear, just take a look at Obama’s recent reversal of policy.

Someone, somewhere is shaking the cages of society and those who believed themselves to be in the higher echelons of power, appear to be feeling they are now on rickety grounds.  The mid-level ‘power-classes’ of Prime-Ministers and Presidents are getting caught up within their own shenanigans.  The problem with this, is that they will need to tighten their grip in order to maintain control.  After all – no one knows what is around the corner – the power-structure may well present a different field in the future.  Will there be a place for the current crop of minions?  They maybe hedging their bets – but they will try anything to ensure they are still needed.

But bear with them, there is a lot more to come – the show has barely begun.  The vast clambering cage of society is showing its antiquity.  And whilst its decaying carcase is being heaved and chained into the 21st century it appears the coming age simply will not accept its presence.  So – here we stand at the beginning of a transition unlike anything in recorded history.

So, what’s next?  Well it appears we have moved pretty much squarely into the world the conspiracy theorists have described – let’s take a look at that for a moment.  The current US Government admits to US torture – 10 years ago that idea was ‘conspiracy’.  The media has blown many things out of all proportion, in fact very few people I know actually believe the flying-pig flu ‘hype’ – so the media outright lie – 10 years ago that was ‘conspiracy’.  In 2009 we have the food regulations agencies saying they can no longer monitor the safety of food, it wasn’t long ago a person was considered a bit of out an outsider for having distrust in commercial foods.  It’s also become blatantly obvious that the economy has been manipulated for a very long time – now there is very nearly a state of ‘common knowledge’ regarding the vast economic con-game that has been played out.

What does it all mean?  Well the wheels are falling off aren’t they.  The juggernaut of society is collapsing in upon itself, those still in denial are hidden within the coming wreckage, whilst those ‘conspiracy-theorists’ are clambering all over society’s failing shell prising it apart with much glee.  Unfortunately – when it all finally fails – both groups are going to be caught in the wreckage, as both groups require the system to define their knowledge and understanding.

To anyone with half a brain who has watched all this unfold – they will have realised a good while ago that the time to get off this ride is long past.  The game is up.  Let’s move onto something else.  If we have learnt one thing from this entire catastrophe – it is that we must not put our individual power in the hands of others.  We simply don’t play their game.  We don’t work their jobs on their terms, we don’t buy their food on their terms, and most assuredly we don’t do anything so inane as protesting against them.  Step away from it all completely and let it takes its path…

…and then choose your own path…

So we keep our focus on where we want to be, and where we want to go.   Or else we follow the crowd and get pulled along where ever they are heading.  It appears the ‘crowd’ is growing in size, emotions are rising – there’s that latent energy charging within the crowd, and it gives silent promise of a large and sudden expression.  The media, governments, ‘alternative news sites’ are unconsciously and unintentionally feeding that energy, constantly peddling the dynamo, round and round and round.

It’s a reactive situation, so the key is to not be reactive.  Instead we can come from the inner processes, being mindful and aware of what is occurring around us, whilst at the same time taking control of our life and our direction.  Remember, the economic and political upheaval are symptoms of a problematic system.  Be clear in awareness that you are not that system.  We don’t have to be reactive.  We simply move our awareness to a different place.  Consider where you envision society being in six months, one year and one decade.  Then take action that moves you towards preparation for all that.  No need to view this in the ’survivalist’ sense – that too is a part of the old paradigm – view it instead as you would if you were moving home to a new country or culture.  It’s simply a transition to a new way of life.

In short, in the new paradigm we are to learn how to be responsible for our own path, for our own learning, for our own way of being.  It has been conclusively proven that systems do not work.  So now we work from the inner world.

The disorientation, the dis-embodiment and lack of co-ordination are all bearable, so I lay down on the bed. Closing my eyes I feel myself lifting away from physical consciousness, into that awakened dream-state. It’s a peaceful feeling, but the moment approaches where I must show the plant my true resolve, and I know that I am un-ready for that. Salvia seems to heighten the sensations of my own body, I feel varying temperature and air-flows over each part of me. I feel the blood coursing through veins, I feel my pulse beating…and I feel my heart racing. From experience I know that nothing in my body has changed, that my bodily functions are as normal…what has changed is how I experience my body. But despite my knowledge of this fact the fear comes, creeping slowly upon me. I know this is the trial I must pass in order to transcended the threshold between the world of my Ego and the world the plant offers.

Closing my eyes, I turn on my side – telling myself over and over that my body is fine. And in fact the experience is less intense than previous occasions, yet my will fails – and my resolve disappears in an instant. I pull back into the protective cocoon of my Ego, deciding to fight the experience rather than go with it.

We are mortal beings, and our ego knows and fears this. In life we seek distraction, domination, control, or even anonymity or conformity – anything under which we may hide. A shelter beneath which we can imagine immortality – away from the rules of the physical world, were Death is hidden from our view behind glamour and superficiality. Where Loss, is something we deem never to face – perhaps this is the true face of materialism; the more we gather to ourselves, the tighter our control, the more mighty our power – the more immune we believe ourselves to Loss. But my thoughts aren’t with such matters at that moment. Time has become condensed down to a single moment, cause and effect though still a conscious reality is not a focus for the mind. I exist fully and completely in the present, and in that moment I am faced with my mortality in an unending stretch of ‘now’. And still the fear remains.

My Ego wilts in the face of this onslaught, unable to face it alone – yet isn’t that something we must all eventually face? Even in companionship we are an island of one. We can share ourselves, but only we can experience the feelings we carry. I call to my wife, deciding that after all I do want a Sitter, she arrives after a few moments along with my daughter who delights in climbing and jumping on the bed. I’m serene enough, and my outward demeanor conveys nothing of what I am experiencing. Though I ask my wife to check my pulse, confirming for me that my body is fine.

I see then the beauty of my family, and am instantly confronted with the things I am unwilling to face. Loss, Death – these things which demand control and denial. The constant fear of emotional pain. The reasons I close myself and flee into mundane distractions and ‘hobbies’. Denial. Fear. These things have surrounded me, they have enveloped all actions and thoughts. I discover the workings of my mind, seeing its thoughts tick out in an abstract ritual, as though reality itself is malleable by the presence or absence of specific thoughts. That if I don’t think a certain thing, then such a thing cannot come to pass. Just as I hide in the physical world behind actions and emotions, I hide within my mind behind thoughts and beliefs. And both these things; the physical and the mental bind! They tie me up and dictate my actions, they dictate my moods and words – and I use them to carve a path through life. Yet it is like trying use a knife to cut a slice into a river!

Reality flows, life flows, the mind flows. The Ego seeks to hold.

And I notice how easily and readily I identify with my mind, this posses no fear – my thoughts don’t bother me, they don’t scare me. The truths my mind offers up I have no inclination to flee or deny. I am at one with my mind. Yet my emotions flail somewhat at my situation, at my life and at anything which disturbs the orderly inward flow. Some of the emotions are disconcerting – offering up dark or violent thoughts. Impulses I hope never to give into – again fear, the thought of Loss or harm through my own actions. I resist them, rather than allowing them to pass-by. Slowly I realise, the more resistance we give a thing, the greater the power it achieves. And so I allow the thoughts to flow, realising that allowing them to do so is not the same as following a train of thought or even acting upon a thought.

Action is a thing to be chosen. The ordering of the mind perhaps is a thing to be chosen. Yet the thoughts that arise in our mind we have no control over. Thoughts arise of their own accord, they function of their own will just like any other organ we posses. Control or Flow. I realise then how throughout my life I have sought to dominate my own thoughts. I see this now as an absurdity when faced with it.

It leads onto a further comprehension; I am at one with my mind but not with my body. I fear my lack of control over it. I fear what it outwardly speaks about me. I identify more with my mind than I do with my body – yet conversely it is the body; the face, the set of posture, the expressions, with which we identify others.

And yes, again I am faced with the lack of control. I seek to dominate how I appear to others! Why? The reason is obvious. Fear and loss – the specifics need not be expounded upon because they are obvious, and you need only look at yourself to discover similar feelings and reasoning.

And so time passes, the condensed moment expands slowly back into the realms of cause and effect, future and present. I know that for another few hours I will retain a highly clear and uncluttered mind. Hyper analytical yet totally at one with my emotions and environment. It’s in these moments that I always clearly feel and understand the full potential of what life can be.

I failed Salvia’s test perhaps – but I learnt what I needed to take another step into life.

I can try and describe my own experience – the audio reaches deep within me, beyond my personality, beyond my thoughts and my ego – it reaches down deep towards the very core of my being. It is elemental. Are these feelings hard-wired into are DNA, a form of genetic memory from the times we lived wild?

Yes, there is certainly something primal here – and it harks back to my experiences of altered states, matching almost presicsly that sensation of the un-knowable. The feeling that we reside in a realm of such terrifying and wondrous beauty – that it is all around us, and at all times we are both connected and disconnected to it. Connected because it is our natural state, disconnected because our waking minds long ago walked away and detached from such things.

Everytime there is that edge of fear within these experiences – fear of the unknown. But perhaps that is the entire point, we are an unknown quantity, as is the realm in which we live. Discovering this truth is a wonderful gift, because it shows us a side of existence that is so far beyond our daily lives, it shows us there there is indeed that something more…

And here is perhaps one of the best illustrations of these experiences:

If you’re a regular reader here, you will know I have quite a thing for brainwave entrainment. Recently I discovered the Gamma Frequency, now this is an area of the mind which hasn’t had a whole lot of research put into it. In fact there is some dispute as to just what the gamma frequency is all about. As we know, the beta frequency of around 12hz to 38hz is our everyday frequency – mixed in with a fair bit of alpha here and there. Gamma kicks things up a notch, and exceeds frequencies of over 70hz.

Now the contention is that this is a highly inspirational state of mind. It has been noted in meditators of various kinds, it has also been recorded during moments of insight, inspiration and intuition. What do I think? Well I believe that humans are more than the some of our parts – and that parts of our consciousness exist outside of what is classified the physical realm. We already know that on occasions people are able to reach ‘higher states of consciousness’. I believe that when these higher states occur it is reflected in our brainwave frequencies. In essence the frequencies are a symptom showing that something is happening – as opposed to the idea that the brainwave frequencies cause such occurrences. That said – it is pretty clear that entraining our brains to certain frequencies does indeed have an effect upon our consciousness. So maybe it is a two way process – energy shifting through the gateway that is the brain.

At any rate, the research into brainwave entrainment is an ongoing process – and one I find fascinating because it deals with the ‘hidden’ aspects of human consciousness. It faces the unknown squarely in the face, and as yet hasn’t been tied down by the conventions of traditional sciences.

In the end whether a person is interested in meditation or not, we all have a common bond when it comes to the fact that we all experience consciousness.  And the fact that we can begin alter and explore the vastness of our consciousness simply by playing a CD, really should be cause for joy.

Blueberry is a journey into the mind of the shaman – set in the 19th century the story follows a marshal into Mexico as he encounters the native Indians. Central to the whole story is the theme of inner personal demons and how they come to posses our actions and emotions. The shamans have an ancient way of facing these demons, and their rituals surround the use of sacred plants.

The movie opens very simply; with the sound made by a shaman – a completely unusual sound but very evocative. There is also something deeper which echo’s of a primal energy which is locked within us all, somewhere far beyond the confines of the ego.

The sound is made by blowing air through the hands in specific ways. These aren’t just any random sounds, they actually speak to the spirit, they call out to the soul seemingly communicating outside of the physical realm. Whilst one’s consciousness has been altered via the use of the sacred plants, these sounds become a guiding force and are able to partially shape or guide the induced experience.

That cultures without any understanding of neurology, acoustics or science have been able to achieve these feats shouldn’t be overlooked. Here we can discover ancient knowledge about our consciousness, and journey on new roads into self-discovery. Our minds need only be open to the possibilities of the understandings which are being passed down through the shamanistic traditions.

Intro from Blueberry [Clip]

Everything is so noisy these days. I think it is an echo of what goes on inside people’s heads. Or perhaps the noise inside our heads is an echo of what is going on “out there” in the external world.

Sometimes it is very hard to find any tranquillity. Recently I started becoming aware of my thoughts whilst I sleep! It is a warm, fuzzy semi-lucid awareness, but even there in sleep, my mind is full of racing thoughts. I am aware to the level that I can feel the thoughts as they occur – there is no linearity to them, my awareness is only on each thought as it occurs. But the moment I wake up I can follow the string of thoughts back. An entire stream of them!

My conscious mind of course is elsewhere at the time of sleep; I was sleeping and wasn’t fully lucid. So where did I go – and if I had gone away somewhere, who’s thoughts were there in my head whilst I slept?

The thing of it is; when I am awake and supposedly fully lucid – the racing thoughts are still present. Carrying on in an uninterrupted manner – seemingly it doesn’t matter whether I am asleep or awake…I constantly have the same stream of unlinked garbage going through my head.

So how often do we mistake these thoughts for an actual thinking process rather than background noise? As I am writing this the humming of the air-conditioner is ever present in the background. Noisy minds are a little like that. The air-conditioner isn’t me either.

The world is full of noise – it over-powers the noise of our minds. In turn the noise of our minds over-power the noise of our lives. It doesn’t stop. Not even in sleep! It is very hard to be peaceful and focused, we aren’t allowed – everything stops us from doing so, including ourselves. We do not stop long enough to see what we are doing and who we are. The noise of the world around us, the noise in our minds – all of it distracts us, and like crazy people we associate ourselves with it. We identify inwardly and outwardly with what is nothing more than static. The static of the technology around us has only served to increase the amount of noise. Everything picks up pace and it is coming faster and more often with little letup.

Digital technology may have reduced the noise of old analogue static – the white snowy pictures on your TV. But it has replaced it with a quantity and volume that is impossible to keep up with. It doesn’t matter if you don’t watch it, and it does not matter if you don’t listen to it. It is all there – always in the background – or else being transmitted through the air and through your body.

Our thoughts are a bit like that too. We transmit them all over the place – in a sense we are like biological transmitters and receivers. We are all linked; strings of emotions and thoughts spread over the entire planet. We all pick up on them – we are hard wired into the human emotional / mental grid and we have got no firewall or protection. Heck most of us don’t even realise we are connected.

Is it like being superficial – but on the inside?

All surface and no real content?

That is the trick – the little sideways twist. Organised thought is not what it is cracked up to be. Connecting the points from A to B to C – it is how we are taught, and it is slow, tedious and often does not even work. Things get missed; we are like horses walking along with blinders. Tunnel vision. We can’t connect all the dots when we can’t see them.

Buried among the noise are a lot of dots, many useable and worthwhile – and some of not much use at all. We ignore them all because they sound like static, and A does not link to B. Sometimes A links to E, H or even Z. It doesn’t really make much sense to a mind that attempts to be organised and linear.

It probably explains the saying; “There is a fine line between madness and genius”.

There is something about linear thinking that makes me think of the story of Hansel and Gretel, leaving their trail of breadcrumbs so that they will not get lost. Anyone following those breadcrumbs would have ended up right at the witch’s house as well. Even an animal can follow an easily laid out trail.

Breadcrumbs. Carrot on a stick.

Rats in a maze.

The concept of linear thinking is fine in and of itself. But who lays out the breadcrumbs? Who told us which method of thinking is “okay” and which method is crazy, useless – insane even?

In the TV series X-Files, Fox Mulder was considered spooky – “out there”, and so he was relegated to the basement. There are a lot of interesting and useful dots in the basement of our mind. High flyers sit on the upper floors, developing systems of analysis, recording data and searching for those elusive connections. When Scully moved into the basement – ultimately she learnt how to make those connections intuitively; jumping from A to H to Y.

Is there a difference between the noise we as humans generate with our systems, laws, bureaucratic nonsense, media and our technology – and the noise of our inner minds? Is it possible that one set of noise is the static of the false world we have created – and the other set of noise is the signal of our reality, the Universe, our higher-selves, God?

The speed at which our lives move has gathered pace. The more dependant we become upon technology, the faster we go – the higher our expectations become. How many devices do you carry around on a daily basis? A cell phone, an iPod and / or PDA? Think about the devices in your home, a TV, DVD Player, Computer, Laptop, Phone, another TV, wireless routers. How much noise do they generate – how much media consumption do they provide?

It’s gathering pace; things are moving faster now. There is more noise in our minds than ever before. But our reality keeps pace, the faster our minds become capable of working, the more information we will receive – not just the information of our technology – but information from other living beings – and information from the Universe itself.

We can see more now, our mental capacities have increased. That is the gift technology has given us. For what will we use that gift? Further media consumption, to help us live our artificial lives?

Or maybe we can use the new found capacity to tune into the signal of our reality. It too has gathered pace – a quickening of information. A change in the fabric of our reality, we can feel it. The Earth is feeling it – and it is reeling, look around it is easy to see.

Listen to the noise, what is it telling you?

Now the use of such audio is becoming increasingly commonplace, yet it is having to move under the guise of a ‘lifestyle product’. Using sound to relax or de-stress is accepted, whilst using it to enter altered states could be viewed as somewhat odd. This is a blockage in the western mind that fails to understand the nature of consciousness; after all how can it be understood without fully experiencing it?

Aware of this fact many cultures chose to explore their consciousness – which after all is the defining aspect of humanity. So there is a rich awareness to be found in those old ways – which for the last 60 or 70 years has slowly been seeping into the western world view.

Yet, whilst it’s true that a lot of progress is being made in our understanding of consciousness as science merrily learns to understand it from a third person point of view, it is quite another thing to undertake any personal experimentations from the first-person. It seems there is something profoundly missing in the notion of analyzing consciousness in the third-person when you yourself are a conduit of consciousness.

But there is a lot of resistance to this idea, simply because it marks a change in how we view the world. Put simply, one cannot explore their consciousness without then coming to certain conclusions about society. And it is this reason alone which causes such controversy to arise.

In regards to this I leave with a quote:

In the 16th century medical students had to steal corpses off the gallows and from battlefields in order to do dissections because the church would not allow dissection of corpses to take place. So medical students of that era risked imprisonment in order to obtain corpses so that they could find out how the human body worked. This is the kind of situation that we’re in–constipated patriarchal institutions are standing directly astride the forward progress of the human race….

We call these substances consciousness expanding agents, well now, if consciousness does not play a major part in the future history of our species, then what kind of a future history are we talking about? Are we going to become stupider? duller? more animal-like? I don’t think so. Consciousness is our defining quality and it must be nourished, encouraged, catalyzed–never more so than now because we have a planet in peril. The entire evolutionary enterprise may rest on the kinds of decisions we make about how we order and carry out our priorities over the next 50 years.

We need all the help we can get, and these plants have always been there to render council and give advice to evolving human populations that would humbly and reverently seek their input.

Terence McKenna

I noticed now a glimmering flicker of light ahead, golden as fire – it played a different form of warmth upon my eyes. Yet closer, almost within reach now a presence lingered; dark, menacing…indifferent. Fear took a deeper grip, seeming to reach out from that presence; his shadowy claws – for it was certainly a He – dripping with an elemental terror.

That fear – not cold as some lay claim – entrenched into the pit of my stomach, and I paid close attention realizing that there was something I should be understanding here. The fear was within me, just as that shadowy presence was within me. Where then was this cave?

Questions…

Questions which caused the environment to disolve and the fear to recede. The cave collapsed into a spectacular nothingness and I awoke from the ‘dream’.

We carry fear within us on a constant basis, it makes up the fabric of who and what we are. Of course we don’t always recognize that fear as it is suppressed very deeply indeed. Yet it sub-consciously influences so much of what we do. Our actions are so often based upon what we want to avoid rather than what we want to achieve. Avoidance of loss, of hunger, of being at the bottom, of failure…and so on.

Many of these fears develop within our childhood, and we aren’t taught how to face them. This becomes something one has to choose to do at a later point in life; choose to face the fears, or flee them forever in denial.

There is an extreme beauty in this, because slowly we can learn to free ourselves from the things which attempt to tie us into the dark unknown. It is as though a pressure is released, and we float upwards and away – towards something bold and new. For me that is a large part of the sum for what it means to develop end evolve ourselves.