How Can I Integrate my Realisations?
Posted on January 5, 2008
Filed Under Awareness, Fake Culture, Society, Spirituality | 4 Comments
It has taken me a long time to integrate many of my realisations about reality into my life, and indeed it continues to be something I constantly struggle with. Years ago, when I stepped out-side of pseudo-reality, my perspective on life changed dramatically. I have always struggled to exist within the socia-programmed nature of society, because it doesn’t fit my temperament. I don’t like routine forced upon me, I don’t like ideas forced upon me. I do like to question – and questions lead to awareness. Awareness of living in consensus reality can leave one feeling very constricted.
So, after awakening from my social-engineering, and emerging from the pseudo-reality of society…I was at first immensely relieved to have discovered the broader all encompassing aspects of reality. The difficulty I then faced was of a slightly different nature.
The realisations that came to me at that point did not at all gel well with the ‘beliefs’ of society and those around me. I am blessed with an exceptional and understanding wife – so there was always an area and place for me to retreat to. However the rest of my existence began to fall into a small ego-centric pit of turmoil. You see, it was then that I first saw society as a form of ‘pseudo-reality’ however I didn’t have that word for it…and I didn’t clearly understand what I was feeling.
At the same time, my spiritual faculties began to awaken; latent empathy, heightened intuition, a deep sense of the vastness of my consciousness and its oneness with the universe. I had no words for any of this, other than the knowledge that it was vastly different to the reality society believes in.
So naturally I struggled, I could no longer integrate with my work colleagues – who I suddenly (and in many ways wrongly) started to view as one-dimensional. And I had great mental and emotional difficultly with the routines and ‘responsibilities’ which financial burdens placed upon me.
To all intents and purposes I was stuck playing a game I saw as flawed, with people who couldn’t see beyond the self-imposed rules.
That healing process was a very slow one for me. In the end, I learnt to play the game in a superficial manner and just appear to be going along with the rules. Meanwhile deep inside me – all this served to do was exasperate the internal conflict I have always suffered from. An unending war between my conditioned-ego and my awareness of Self and reality.
Over the years that war settled into the background, only to once again emerge. That occurred a number of times. In the end I took a number of years out from the ‘game’ in order to try and reintegrate myself.
The problem with coming to the realisation of pseudo-reality, and in understanding fake-culture is that you can begin to believe that they are not real. You begin to feel that the fact that consensus reality is an illusion means it has no real value, place or worth in your life. Especially when held in comparison to the illumination and spiritual consciousness of the universe.
The lesson to be learnt is that both realms exist side-by-side. Or from another point they are one and the same thing; just different aspects. It’s like separating colour from light, you see them as separate, but they are essentially manifestations of the same thing. The only difference is that outside pseudo-reality you see both aspects, whilst inside you see only the place in which you stand.
So it’s a case of integration, a lesson in which I learn something everyday. It is something that can be difficult to work with, but there are enough people out there who now share their experiences. And from that sharing it is possible to gain great insight.
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4 Responses to “How Can I Integrate my Realisations?”
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Dear Marcus, I can echo very much with what you had gone through. Although I am still struggling. I wonder if you have more ideas on the “integration” part. I find my daily routines – studying law – more and more unbearable as I no longer see how it can serve any greater purpose than the system; i try to rationalise it by saying that i am learning the enemy’s language. But I know that the exam is designed to train and ingrain a particular way of reasoning, and I can see my mind resorting to use this “knowledge” as a way of control whenever i feel helpless and let myself slip into unconsciousness.
[ Quote ]Thank you!
Well said, but I beg to differ in terms or realization and integration. I feel that pseudo-reality that is under discussion is based upon a intelligent design and a very deep structural pattern. What if the concept of integration emanates from the same pseudo-reality and allows you to come terms with it!
bwt, I don’t like routine forced upon me as well. The very reason that I did not like military and the boarding schools!
[ Quote ]Well said, but I beg to differ in terms of realization and integration. I feel that pseudo-reality that is under discussion is based upon a intelligent design and a very deep structural pattern. What if the concept of integration emanates from the same pseudo-reality and allows you to come terms with it!
bwt, I don’t like routine forced upon me as well. The very reason that I did not like military and the boarding schools!
[ Quote ]What if by design from the begining of our creation we had been given a super conscious set of spiritual ethics by our CREATOR ingrained and innate within our beings only to be obscured by the creation of an sexualized moral standards. There is a secret in the term fornication, not sex itself,only sexualized relations of every manner and form, I.E. politics, government,mass belief systems etc.
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