Inner Conflict

Posted on October 5, 2007
Filed Under Society, Spirituality |

A big part of becoming aware of ourselves, is discovering the amount of conditioning we have. So much of how we perceive the world is based upon what we believe - and these beliefs are often unquestioned assumptions.

The conditioning process starts early with our parents. Parental discipline instills within us a sense of right and wrong - what we can and can’t do. We aren’t taught to consciously decide for ourselves whether something is correct or incorrect, instead we are taught to fear the consequences of being wrong.

These are the laws as set down by our parents, very quickly we start believing that these laws are the only correct path for us to follow. The law of the state is molded under much the same concept; for example, compare how you feel about being caught breaking the law, to how you felt in your youngest memory of being caught doing something bad by your parent or your teacher. And I mean really think about it! Not in the third person manner. But in first person. How did you feel, and how do you feel about the law now? Remarkably similar isn’t it.

This process of black or white thinking, carries on into the school system, where we don’t really learn subjects as such - instead we are imprinted with a belief of how we should learn. In school we discover that we learn from being told, by being shown and from reading books. In other words we learn from authority.

We are taught the false notion that experience doesn’t really come into the matter - except for in a very precise way, and that is the experience of being either right or wrong. Of course, whether we are right or wrong is dependent upon our answer matching the established knowledge of authority. If our answer matches, then we experience being right. If it doesn’t match, then we experience being wrong.

Being correct establishes a reward and / or a sensation of well being. Being wrong establishes a contrasting lack of reward and the sensation of feeling outside the community. This is exactly how conditioning works when training animals…because animals do not have the ability to consciously choose correct or incorrect action. For humans it is a very black and white approach, a case of either / or - which becomes so ingrained into us that we carry it around with us for the rest of our lives.

The work environment continues this same process. Firstly because it is effective, and secondly because those running things were educated in the same manner and function under the same assumptions.

Society also functions in this way. The nightly news is a constant display of correct / incorrect action and resulting consequences.

Unsurprisingly this has a massive effect upon our psyche; it effectively causes us to operate with robot like behavior. Our inner thinking starts to work in a binary like manner, just like computer code - full of 1’s and 0’s. On or Off. Positive or Negative. Yes or No.

This clockwork-like mechanical thinking process begins to stumble every time we hit emotional issues or gray patches. “But what is the right answer?” We think.

But perhaps life was never meant to be viewed in such a clear cut way. When we begin to wake-up to ourselves and our awareness, it causes this binary conditioned programming to fail. It is when this happens that we truly open our eyes to the world for the first time since we were a young child. But it also brings with it the potential to generate a whole load of inner conflict.

There is no “correct” or “incorrect” action or thoughts. Things are simply how they are. We generate the idea of doing the “wrong thing” when we rely too much upon our inner programmed conditioning. We place high expectations upon ourselves, because we are conditioned with a sense of achieving and failure. We believe we are being selfish when we think of ourselves, because we are taught that others come first. The awareness of a mind waking-up is in direct conflict with the programmed sleep-mind. And this can become a very troubling time for people, especially if they have no understanding support around them. This ‘inner conflict’ arises due to so many reasons.

People often say they feel bad for thinking a certain thought or feeling a certain way. Yet we don’t choose our thoughts, and we are not our thoughts.

In a traditional definition of schizophrenia, it is stated that suffers associate with their thoughts too directly. A schizophrenic believes that reality matches whatever thoughts they are having. Oftentimes many of their thoughts conflict with each other - giving an extreme sense of confusion and disorientation. And yet we all associate with our thoughts in one way or another. We believe our thoughts define us…just as the schizophrenic believes their thoughts define reality.

This inner conflict is what makes the early phases of self development and awareness development such tough going. We end up with a conflict between our true inner-self and our programmed-self. There is also often conflict between our awareness of reality, and our conditioned belief of reality. It is very true to say that as a culture we have learnt to ignore what our senses report to us, because we believe in the higher power of authoritative-knowledge.

But perhaps we should feel some satisfaction to know that this inner conflict is very much the death throes of a dying machine, as our inner-self begins to emerge from deep within us like light from a dark cloud. The key is learning to have faith in your own conscious awareness. In understanding that just because the majority believe and act in a certain way - that doesn’t make it correct.

We can learn to identify less and less with our thoughts - and instead choose to consciously think and act. It is a process of true self-growth and for those who have found that path, it is a truly amazing experience.

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One Response to “Inner Conflict”

Think Before you Speak? Try speaking before you think. : The Thoughts on October 24th, 2007 1:42 pm

[…] fragment our minds with inner conflict and self doubt, and then willfully remain silent about those matters. All manner of things fester […]
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