Superficial Perspective

Posted on August 3, 2007
Filed Under Society, Spirituality |

How many of us can honestly say we are never superficial? I have always found it be to a challenge, to not cast judgement upon those I consider to be superficial - even those I love; friends and family. And then I ask myself does it really matter how deeply superficial they are? The answer to that may well be irrelevant - and if you have never faced the question, then I may well consider you to be a hero. Perhaps a more meaningful question then, is not to be aimed at other people but rather at ourselves. How superficial am I, do I have a superficial perspective? Do you have a deep sense of self-worth? Specifically then, how would superficiality affect our outlook upon the world?

There is a little anecdote for me, which seems to repeat itself again and again across numerous situations. I am not really the type to talk a whole lot about myself, (despite the fact that yep - I have a personal website ). Workplaces are full of a lot of superficial chat, gossip, tea-room talk and the like - its not my scene. And then there are those questions which everyone asks but no one is really interested in an answer (expect perhaps to discover some gossip for the tea-room). You know the questions I mean; obvious ones like, “Hi, how are you?”, “Hi, how was your weekend?”, “So…um…are you having a holiday this year?” and so on. I caught onto this fairly young and didn’t at all enjoy playing the game of verbal racket ball. Standard question - standard reply - standard question, etc. So I met these questions with mute regard or simple one word replies; “Fine thanks.”, “Yep, the weekend was fine”.

I would of course have conversations with people - and I was polite. But my lack of “small talk”, led to a fairly natural conclusion. A perception grew that I was the “sit-at-home” type guy, doing nothing in particular with my time. From that perception a rough concept of my personality was forged in the minds of my colleagues - a concept which soon become set in stone. The quiet guy who doesn’t do much, a bit of a loner. The fact was that I simply didn’t talk about myself to these people - and so they formed their opinions upon what little evidence I presented them with.

…I got married without even letting them know until well after the fact. That was like a hammer blow to them.

Deep Perspective

This happens a lot, and a lot of people have such a superficial perspective. It can be pretty easy to believe that what is presented in front of our eyes is the entire extent of reality. That what we see in the person sitting next to us is all she is. That is sits quietly, seems shy and has nothing of much interest to say. So yeah - she’s the dull type. Meanwhile she is a black belt in Ju-Jitsu, uses live swords in Iaido, parachute dives and has a legion of friends. It’s just that her ego doesn’t get in the way of all this - and so she doesn’t need to tell everyone about it.

She also probably understands how people view her, but then opinions are a very fickle and - yes, a very superficial thing.

There is a profound power in silence; something deep and settling from which great strength can be drawn. This isn’t the silence of meditation or self-reflection, instead it comes from a deep seated sense of Self. It doesn’t suffer askance from others, it doesn’t require validation or need to be held aloof and in high-esteem. It is the absence of the ego, the integration of the Shadow.

The Shadow of the Superficial When we view people and our reality in terms of what is presented in front of us, then we are missing the point of living. We are failing to grasp that there are many hidden aspects to people and to our world, and that these things do not stand up with bright flashing lights and shout for attention.

If these things are hidden - then how do you see them? This ability comes about in a number of ways; through self-understanding, the development of our physical being, and the development of our non-physical senses. Practitioners of non-competitive physical sports grow an increased sense of physical self-awareness. This is especially true of most eastern traditions - particularly the marital arts.

Using your peripheral vision also shows many things that direct vision will not, including the presence of often subtle and faint energy patterns.

As with all things, awareness is the key. Awareness is the slayer of superficiality - as with superficiality can not exist in the presence of awareness. Sure it is still possible to enjoy things of a superficial nature - but there is an underlying awareness of the process. With awareness you will begin to see people in a very different light, because so much of who they are is in what goes unsaid, and in what they don’t show.

Comments

5 Responses to “Superficial Perspective”

Attila Borcsa on August 3rd, 2007 1:36 pm

Small talk is obviously on the surface. Is in its nature to generate superficiality. On the other hand I find politeness - as the better side of this - to have positive roles too. Actually what came to my mind right now is that in many situations politeness generated a distance from certain people that afterwards turned out to be a good protection. This is just one of the non-obvious advantages, but there are a lot more.
As far as other people’s superficiality, yes, I admit it bothers me at times. There are also times when it doesn’t. I guess it depends on my view. For ex. I know for sure that if those who I see as superficial in a situation are in fact holding me back, then they bother me. Essentially, let’s say from an objective perspective, the ‘bother’ here is entirely my problem. But it is not easy to cope with that. So, it can be solved faster with a word or two
[ Quote ]
Tennz on August 4th, 2007 2:36 pm

Borcsa I dont agree that being superficial has benefits I see politness can have the uses that you say. Politness and being superficial, not the same thing.
[ Quote ]
Marcus on August 9th, 2007 3:41 pm

Hiya Attila, for some reason I don’t seem to be getting notification of comments. A bit odd.

I agree with you about politeness. That is part of what I meant when I said I gave short answers. Merely a polite exchange. No point in offending people after all.

Superficial people bother me less know than they used too. (Although it still bothers me). I tend to find from experience that the more you come to terms with yourself - the easier it becomes to accept others. Individual superficiality I guess is not as difficult to handle as mass (global) superficiality…heh…
[ Quote ]
Attila Borcsa on August 9th, 2007 5:03 pm

I wasn’t aware of your reply here either until now that I checked back on the web.
Tennz is right, it might seem like politeness and superficiality are the same from what I commented. I am not a native English speaker and also my thoughts are not getting clear formulations all the time. I wish … So, my point is I desire for good manners to be present so much more around me, in the country where I live now… Maybe this is the reason I got positive on politeness
[ Quote ]
Marcus on August 9th, 2007 7:11 pm

Heh well I think your English is good. Strange isn’t it, but politeness seems to be disappearing. Mind you, it also seems that many people are become increasingly unconscious (falling into an ever deeper waking sleep), perhaps that is part of the reason?
[ Quote ]