The self Circles the Self

Posted on November 12, 2007
Filed Under Awareness, Meditation, Spirituality, Consciousness |

I don’t know how many of you spend much time - if any at all - meditating, but there comes a certain point where you realize that you are quite distinct from your thoughts. Up until that realization it is as though you are in the center of your thoughts - that the thoughts are your identity and you are a product of them. Eventually, during meditation you end up stepping back from that thought process, it is as though your mind is a vast and infinite open space and your thoughts occupy merely a small area of that space. At that point during meditation you can begin to ‘move’ around and even away from the space your thoughts occupy - you become the observer rather than the thinker.

When this first happened to me I used to spend a lot of time simply looking at my thoughts from this new found observational point. We like to think these thoughts are the center of our mind-scape; and that really is a little foolish notion of the ego, much like when mankind believed Earth was at the center of the Universe. The space our thoughts occupies tends to be rather arbitrary, because in an open infinite space there is no such thing as a center. At any rate, before long another realization occurs; if you are an Observer rather than a Thinker - why spend your meditation time observing your thoughts?

At this point the mind / consciousness becomes a sort of vast playground. Your observational awareness can move around your consciousness and even alter the texture and sensation of how you experience your awareness. I have found this part to be a lot of fun! It is also a great learning experience, as it teaches a lot about the nature of how we perceive and experience the everyday world; that what we see and feel is sort of ‘filtered’ through whatever state our awareness is in.

Things can be pushed further still, because pretty soon yet another realization occurs. Just as the Thinker is an independent part of our being - which isn’t really our true identity, the same is also true of the Observer. At this point you can move outside of the Observer, and in so doing you don’t find yourself in another part of the vast empty space of your mind / consciousness, instead you become your consciousness. The texture of awareness changes yet again, and the Thinker and Observer, along with the physical body appear to be contained inside of your consciousness. The sensation is very much one of being at a different state of existence, yet at the same time is very familiar.

What I find constantly amazing is how the different aspects of our being; Ego, Thinker, Observer and so on are always chasing each other. Each of them try to claim a stake as our identity, as one tries to move the other out of the way. We try and master our ego for example - but who is doing the mastering and who is the ego? Who is the Observer and who is the Thinker? It really is an entirely different level of Self fragmentation as the self (components) always try and circle the Self (entire being).

Now the real kicker is when the next realization occurs; you step outside of what - up until this point - appeared to be your consciousness and out into the surrounding reality / universe. It feels as though your awareness leaves your consciousness and enters what I could only describe as a greater ‘external’ consciousness within which we are all contained. And I really do believe that is just the beginning.